How to Annoy the Clans
by XxShadedleafxX
Summary: Shade, a kittypet, is bored and runs into a clan cat one day. This is when she discovers that this is what she will do, she'll annoy all the cats of the clans...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello this is my first fanfic, I hope its alright...I know that a lot of other people are doing this subject, but this is my own version.**

 ** How to Annoy the Clans**

Shade, a dappled golden and brown tabby was restless. All she ever did all day was lounge around in her twolegs' nest. This she-cat wanted a change, something new to occupy her time. She could go outside and try to catch a mouse. Nah, mice didn't taste good. She could go steal her twolegs' cake that was sitting on the counter top. No. Shade decided to take a walk outside to get her thoughts flowing. That's when she ran into one of them. A clan cat. Her kittypet friend next door had told her all about the cats living in clans around the lake.

The bushes rustled all around Shade. She knew it wasn't the wind. A gray tom sprang at her. Shade was caught off guard and was pinned to the ground.

The gray cat snarled and meowed, "What are you doing on Thunderclan territory?!"

"I..I really don't know. What's Thunderclan?"

"Stop playing dumb I'll take you to our camp."

"But what did I do," Shade wailed.

Just then a cat soared above their heads. Rainbows were streaming out of its butt. It suddenly fell out of the sky and started yelling at Shade, "YOU STOLE MY POP-TARTS!" Shade was confused, she didn't know what a pop-tart was.

"Who are you?" the gray cat asked, clearly mystified.

"I am Nyan Cat!" Then Nyan Cat flew up into the sky and disappeared.

"What the heck just happened?" Shade was confused. She shook her head briefly to get her ideas straight.

"I haven't the slightest clue," the gray tom said. "Let's just forget this ever happened."

Then he escorted Shade to the Thunderclan camp. A giant hollow of stone surrounded her, along with many cats of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Then an orange cat stepped onto a giant rock and stared at Shade. Was she in trouble? Shade smirked. _It would be fun to annoy this useless gang of cats_ , she thought. Then it hit her, literally. Something hit her on the back of her head. She barley contained her yelp of agony. _I need to learn all of their weaknesses and annoy and penetrate their minds._ This is what she would do to entertain her. Annoy the cats of all four clans!

 **As soon as she had a piece of cake of course though.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I will accept suggestions if you have any...**

 **Chapter 1- Crowfeather's Date**

Shade decided to check out Windclan, it was quite a breezy morning. She just barely managed to slip out of Thunderclan camp, as she was being kept prisonor for a while. As it seemed to her. Firestar, the leader, wanted her to search the elders for ticks, hunt, and even swap out the bedding in the nursery. So far this morning she hadn't done any of these yet. But she would, later, maybe. The dappled tabby slipped out of the bramble entrance and out into the forest. She raced in the direction of the moor, her tail streaming behind her. She would have to think of an excuse for being on Windclan territory, but she wouldn't stress herself about it at the moment.

She quickly crossed the border and sat down to lick her paws, which had acquired much dirt. Shade raced across the short grass and ahead of her saw a dip in the moor. She peered down into a small clearing, enough for five cats to lay down comfortably in. Only two cats were in the clearing, sharing tongues. They both had a black pelt and were skinny and wiry. Typical Windclan cats. Shade caught bits of their conversation and realized that the two cats were Crowfeather and Nightcloud, and they were on their first date.

"So why did you run away with that Leafpool chick?" Nightcloud asked.

"I don't know, she.. she forced me." Shade could tell he was lying but Nightcloud hadn't noticed.

"You would never do that to me, would you. You wouldn't leave me?"

Crowfeather hesitated. "No," he managed to say. Shade could tell it was almost time. "I would never leave you-"

Shade farted as loud as she could and ducked behind the dip in the moor. After a few seconds, she popped her head over the dip to take a look at the couple. Nightcloud looked startled. Crowfeather's face was hot with embarrassment. Shade barely could hide her chuckle. Then she whipped out her iphone and took a picture of each of their expressions.

"Crowfeather," Nightcloud started.

"It wasn't me, I swear," Crowfeather meowed, not wanting to loose the love of another she-cat. (he already lost the love of 50 she-cats so far)

"Crowfeather, you and I are the only ones here and I would not...I would not... do that."

"But."

"Yeah you might want to just forget about me and you."

Then Shade farted again. Her fart was followed by an uproar as the two cats started arguing.

"Crowfeather!"

"It wasn't me, I swear!"

"I can't believe you would do that!"

"I didn't!"

"Crowfeather just admit it." Nightcloud was about to loose her edge.

"It was that bush," Crowfeather waved his tail towards a hazel bush next to Shade. She ducked. "I don't know, but it wasn't me!"

"That's it, I see why no she-cats fell for you. Crowfeather, you're gross!" Nightcloud turned and ran back towards the Windclan camp.

"But..." Crowfeather stopped. He muttered something Shade couldn't catch.

The dappled tabby decided that this was a good time to return to Thunderclan. She raced back to the border and leaped over the stream. Then she entered the camp through the dirtplace tunnel and stood panting behind the warriors den. She casually walked into the clearing to be greeted with Firestar yelling at her to start cleaning out the nursery. Shade smiled. She wondered what she would do tomorrow...


	3. Chapter 3

**yolo, I'm always open for suggestions if you want to comment or pm me...**

 **Chapter 3- Blackstar**

The dappled golden and brown tabby blinked her beautiful green eyes. She arched her back in a luxurious stretch. Yesterday she had spoiled Crowfeather's date, but today she felt like heading over to Shadowclan. She wanted to annoy that leader, Blackstar. As she pushed her way out of the den and towards the dirtplace tunnel, she was caught off guard by Mousefur. _Oh great!_ Shade barely restrained herself from saying it aloud.

"Hello, Shade," Mousefur's tone was curt. _Even better!_

"What do you want?" Shade mewed.

"Don't you sass me woman, I'm the only one who can be sassy around here!" Mousefur snapped back.

Shade started to walk away and muttered under her breath, "Okay, miss queen of sass." Mousefur sassily walked away. Shade took her chance and raced out through the dirtplace tunnel. This time she headed in the opposite direction of Windclan.

It seemed to take ages to get to Shadowclan. The whole time Shade was thinking of how many ways that she was more sassy than Mousefur. She only thought of three ways before a Shadowclan patrol spotted her. She instinctively started limping and pretending to be in pain.

"Oh, what have we got here?" a thick brown tabby tom meowed.

"Back off buttface," a tortoiseshell she-cat stood at the edge of the border. The brown tabby looked taken aback. The tortoiseshell turned to Shade, "Are you okay?"

Shade shook her head. The tortoiseshell cat jumped over the border and offered Shade a shoulder to lean on. Two more Shadowclan cats popped out of the dense undergrowth. One was a small cream-colored she-cat and the other was a gray tabby tom.

"I am-" the gray tabby cat started, but Shade cut him off.

"I don't need to know your names, like I'm going to remember them anyways."

The tortoiseshell just nodded and the patrol walked into the Shadowclan camp. Shade felt trapped with all the trees surrounding her. The tortoiseshell she-cat finally broke the awkward silence when everyone was staring at Shade.

"Littlecloud!"

"Who's that?" Shade asked.

"Our medicine cat," the tortoiseshell replied. Then she bent over and whispered in Shade's ear, "My name is Tawnypelt by the way."

Shade smiled, she liked that name, but there was no time to gossip, she needed to find Blackstar. A small cat emerged from one of the dens followed by an apprentice almost his size. Shade assumed that this was Littlecloud and his apprentice. Littlecloud beckoned her into his den and she followed, willingly.

Once inside the den the strong smell of herbs hit her like fog. Their dense smell blocking out all of her other senses.

"I'm just going to check you, okay?" Littlecloud assured the dappled tabby she-cat. She let him sniff her. "You seem fine," he meowed.

"Yeah, I'm just-" she was saved from an explanation when Blackstar entered the den. She sat up.

"I heard we have a trespasser," he turned on Shade.

"No, no I wasn't trespassing, I just needed to tell you a message from a Thunderclan cat." She smiled.

"Go ahead."

She looked at Littlecloud suggesting that he leave. But he stayed where he was.

"Littlecloud, you better go, this sounds like something private," Blackstar ordered. Littlecloud left. "So what do you have to tell me?"

Shade looked around to make sure that no one else was in the den. She looked into the eyes of the big leader. Then she leaned in and whispered something in his ear. "I was sent because..." she paused. Shade really hadn't thought of what she was going to say until now. _I could tell him that Firestar ate all his waffles. Or I can tell him that Berrynose likes him. Or..._ her thoughts were cut off when Blackstar cleared his throat. He was getting impatient. "Because Mousefur likes you and wants to marry you." Shade finished and raced out of the den all the way back to her side of the border before Blackstar could claw her ears off.

She stopped on her side of the border to catch her breath. Over the sounds of the forest she could hear shrieks of protest from Blackstar. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T MARRY HER, ANYONE BUT MOUSEFUR!" It went on like that for a while. Shade finally heard the protests die down, but what arose was a new muttering, as all of the Shadowclan cats judged Blackstar.

Shade meowed outloud, "Geez, Shadowclan are so judgmental."


	4. Chapter 4

**yay I got my first suggestion...but first...**

 **Chapter 4- Berrynose XD**

A yellow moon sliced through the branches of the warriors den. It had been three days since Shade had left camp to tell Blackstar that Mousefur liked him (which was a complete lie and she would have gotten her pelt clawed off if she had told Mousefur). That was quite the laugh though. But tonight she felt too lazy to leave Thunderclan territory. She stretched her back legs, kicking Cloudtail in the face.

"Geez, what was that for? " Cloudtail muttered. "I only told you to wake me when they delivered my waffle and anchovy pizza."

"Ok, ok," the dappled tabby mewed calmly. She slipped into the clearing, bathed in the moon's pale beams. As she walked past the nursery, she could hear the ear-piercing snores of Daisy. _I wonder how many cats wish that they could just get rid of her?_ Shade thought. She spotted Brambleclaw on guard and she kindly nodded to him as she walked out of camp.

Once she was out in the forest, she could let her senses fly as she looked for what she needed to pull this off. As she sniffed around, she smelt something strange. Like tomatoes with cheese and waffles and what was that? Anchovies? It was Cloudtail's pizza! She carefully looked inside the box and shrank away at the putrid smell. "I'm not bringing that into the camp," she mewed aloud.

She continued walking through the night.

Once she had found what she was after, she headed back towards Thunderclan camp. As she walked towards the entrance tunnel, Brambleclaw asked her suspiciously, "Why are you carrying a bush with berries on it?" His cold amber gaze was burning into her pelt. But she kept cool.

"Jayfeather wanted me to fetch some herbs for him."

"In the middle of the night?" Brambleclaw wasn't convinced.

"Yeah, I don't question what my medicine cat tells me to do," Shade retorted. "Unlike some people." She walked past the brown tabby with the bush of berries. But instead of heading for the medicine cats' den she grabbed three berries and shoved the bush under the highledge. She just hoped that Brambleclaw wouldn't recognize it.

The golden and brown tabby carrired the berries to the warrior's den and laid back down. All the cats were asleep. Next to her was Millie and Berrynose. _Purrfect!_ Shade turned around and randomly pulled a hot glue gun from her nest. She looked around to make sure no one was watching and took one of the berries on her claw. She squirted out a dab of hot glue on the tip of the berry and she quickly located Berrynose's nose in the dark den. She pressed the berry to his nose and threw the hot glue gun to the other side of the den. Shade quickly curled up, apparently asleep.

She closed her eyes, though she couldn't wait for his expression in the morning.

When the dappled tabby woke up, she was the last one in the den. She quickly hopped outside and searched the clearing for Berrynose. Instead, Purdy sat down next to her.

"Looking for someone? All you youngin's are," Purdy's voice was hoarse. He was old, and ugly.

"No." Shade replied.

"Have I ever told you the story of the time a twoleg captured me..." Shade just decided to block out the old elder. Just then she could hear wailing outside the gorse tunnel. Cats all looked wide-eyed at where the sound came from. Shade wasn't sure if it was Berrynose (because it sounded like a she-cat's scream, not a tom's) until she saw him rush into the clearing. The berry was still on his nose. "What in the name of-"

Shade started to walk away from Purdy and towards Berrynose. All around her cats were murmuring.

"What happened?!"

"What's on his nose!"

"What in the name of Starclan?"

"What's going on?" Firestar's voice sounded strong, yet concerned.

"There...there's something on my nose!" Berrynose squealed.

"I can see that." Firestar looked closer. "Is that a... berry. OMG you literally are berry nose!" The clearing broke into laughter. But Shade didn't join in, she would've rather stared at Berrynose's expression. She whipped out her iphone and took a picture. Then she shared it on instagram with the post: #literal Berrynose XD

Then Firestar's voice drew her back in. "Berrynose...I ...I don't know how this could've happened." He barely could choke out the words over his chuckling.

Berrynose's face was almost as red as the berry on his nose. "I don't know, but I want it off, **now**!" he wailed and pouted like a kit.

Jayfeather said, "Guys, admit it, this is the funniest thing that has happened in moons. Firestar you should rename Berrynose as Berrybutt. Then he would somehow get a berry on his butt."

The clearing exploded in laughter. Firestar leaped onto the highledge and yelled the traditional meeting words. "Today I want to rename this warrior, Berrynose. From this moment on Berrynose you will be known as Berrybutt. After you got a berry on your nose, maybe with your new name you will get a berry stuck to your butt." Berrynose- Berrybutt- glared at Firestar and started to cry just like a kit.

As Shade was watching all this she started to smile. Maybe he will get a berry stuck to his butt someday. Maybe...


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5- Shadedleaf**

The dappled tabby she-cat lay awake in the warrior's den. She was wondering what she was going to do today to annoy her clanmates or some of the other clans. She stepped outside into the morning mist that lay thick in the air. She looked up to see a milky pink sky. The only noise was the birds and the sound of Purdy from the direction of the elder's den. Shade decided that she'd better see what he was up to.

She quietly peered into the den in the stump of an old yew bush. Boy did it stink in there. _Why are elders so gross?_ Shade was very revolted by the smell, but she still walked inside. Purdy was the only one up, and she was surprised that none of the others were awake by how loud he was talking.

"Now where did I put 'dose nuts," Purdy muttered to himself. He turned when he saw Shade walk in. "Oh good morning Shade, how are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Lovely morning, isn't it?"

"Ah- huh." She wished that she hadn't walked in here in the first place. But now she was stuck here until she could slip out.

"Hey wanna hear a story?" Purdy asked.

"Uh, not real-"

"So I was walking along this Thunderpath and a giant crow came down and picked me off the ground." Purdy dived right into his story.

"Is that so," Shade was amused at the thought of a crow lifting this fat, lazy, brown elder into the air.

"Yup." Purdy continued talking, but Shade didn't listen.

"Listen I have to go," she mewed after a while.

"Why?"

"I er.. I think I tore a claw just yesterday. I need to check it with Jayfeather."

"Oh, okay go along. But come back later, " Purdy called after her.

Shade walked out of the elder's den and muttered to herself, "Yeah right." She shook her head as she sauntered into the clearing. More cats were awake. Millie was sharing a thrush from last night with Graystripe, Sandstorm was talking to Brambleclaw and Dustpelt, Berrybutt was sitting under the highledge and cursing under his breath, and Firestar leaped onto the highledge.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the highledge." His voice echoed around the clearing as more cats emerged from their dens. "As you all know, we have had a visitor for a while. Shade-"

Shade hadn't heard what he said, but she looked up at him anyways. _Is he accusing me of stealing his cupcakes?_ The early sun shone on her beautiful pelt.

"It is time that you become a full member of Thunderclan."

 _WHAT?_ Shade was stunned.

"I ask you, oh mighty Starclan, to look down on this cat and commend her a warrior of Thunderclan. She has worked hard to understand the ways of clan life and I think that she should be a full warrior, in turn."

The clearing quieted.

"From this day on, Shade, you will be known as Shadedleaf, in honor of you kittypet name and your beautiful dappled tabby pelt."

Shade- no Shadedleaf- was about to burst with pride. Thunderclan finally accepted her. Now she could be even closer to the cats of the clans. All the cats, even Berrybutt, started calling out her name.

"Shadedleaf! Shadedleaf!"

Shadedleaf smiled. Clan life wasn't so bad, especially when you could annoy everyone so easily. She also liked her new name.

 _Shadedleaf!_


	6. Chapter 6

**this is a suggestion from FireySpirit711**

 **Chapter 6- Riverclan's omen**

Shadedleaf was still getting used to her new warrior tasks. Hunting, patrolling, and trying not to steal Firestar's cupcakes again. The golden and brown dappled she-cat was, unfortunately, sent on a hunting party with Berrybutt and Dustpelt. Berrybutt was so annoying and Dustpelt was bossy. Shadedleaf decided to split up and head near the lake to look for a water vole.

The birds were singing softly in the breeze, but Shadedleaf ignored them. She didn't feel like hunting. Instead the beautiful she-cat strayed towards Windclan territory. Dustpelt told her that warriors were allowed to walk two fox-lengths from the shore all the way around the lake. He also told her not to trespass on any other clan territories. _Well screw that!_

Shadedleaf had never meet any Riverclan cats. Today she would. She quietly padded near the lake towards what she thought was Riverclan. She had a great plan to annoy the whole Riverclan.

As she drew closer she could distinctly make out a camp near a small river. A splash startled her. She whipped around to see a Riverclan patrol in the lake. _Gross!_ Shadedleaf ducked behind a small bush, just to be sure that they couldn't spot her. She hoped that her dappled pelt would blend with the leaves of the bush. She waited until the splashing died down to jump out of the bush.

Once inside the camp, she looked for the medicine cat. Not many of the fat, lazy Riverclan cats were in the clearing, but she still took care not to be noticed. Shadedleaf acted casually, just strolling around the camp. No one seemed to notice her. She figured that it was because Riverclan cats were so stupid.

After a while, the scent of herbs drew her into the medicine cat den. There was two small nests, and herbs were scattered everywhere near the back of the den. A small stream trickled into a pool near the stash of herbs. A big bush with golden leaves lay at the very back of the den. Shadedleaf quickly scrambled behind it, desperately trying to hide herself before the medicine cat returned. Her green gaze peered through the thick leaves of the bush as she searched outside the entrance for the medicine cat in the clearing. Shadedleaf gave up after about five minutes and rested her head on her paws and wrapped her tail around her. The she-cat fell into a deep sleep.

Shadedleaf awoke when the moon's beams scorched her fur. She tasted a new scent even before she opened her eyes. Mothwing and Willowshine were sleeping; their bodies slowly rising and falling. She took a deep breath.

"Mothwing, Willowshine," she meowed, keeping her voice quiet, yet sweet and soft. She always imagined that this was how a Starclan cat spoke. Both cats stirred and sat up in their nests. Willowshine looked around, wildly.

"Who's there?" Willowshine barely squeaked out.

"It is the voice of Starclan," Shadedleaf started. "I have an omen for your clan."

Mothwing fidgeted at the word 'Starclan'. "An omen, you say?" she didn't sound amused.

 _Geez, what's with this grumpy, old fart?_ Shadedleaf thought. "Your clan's time is coming to an end." Both the cats perked their ears. Shadedleaf continued, "The time of Riverclan will come to an end when..." Shadedleaf paused for a dramatic effect. "when pizza and cupcakes rain from the sky."

"What? When will this happen and why?" Willowshine pleaded. Shadedleaf decided not to say anymore. She sat quietly in the bush, not hardly breathing. She had done her deed, both cats were terrified. Shadedleaf curled up and went back to sleep. Tomorrow she would carry out the second part of her fake omen.

~ LATER ~

The dappled tabby she-cat opened one eye to check that the medicine cats had left the den. The den was empty and quiet. She jumped over the bush (which made her pelt itch) and peered out the den entrance. She quickly crossed the clearing and literally flew back to Thunderclan. She picked up the scent of vole near the camp and easily caught it. She carried her catch into the camp, hoping that no one would ask where she'd been. It seemed as if Jayfeather had read her mind.

"Shadedleaf, where have you been?" he asked, his pale blue eyes staring straight into hers. Sometimes she thought that he really could see.

"It's a long story."

"I have time," Jayfeather really wanted to annoy her and figure out where she'd gone. Shadedleaf wondered why.

"Jayfeather!" Leafpool had called from the medicine den. "What is this bag of cupcakes doing in the back of the storage room?"

Jayfeather's eyes lit up. He turned and ran into the den and started to argue with Leafpool about something that Shadedleaf couldn't catch _._ _Whatever!_

The dappled tabby shook her head and turned to run up the rockpile leading to Firestar's den. Once outside she sniffed to make sure that Firestar wasn't in his den. She snuck into the back of his den and located five cupcakes shoved in the corner, near his nest. She smeared the pink frosting off one of the cupcakes onto Firestar's nest. She then took the cupcakes and made a wild dash for the dirtplace tunnel. The sneaky she-cat slipped out of her usual secret tunnel and ran into the forest.

A coulple sunrises ago, when she was looking for the berry for Berrynose's nose, she had found a pizza that Cloudtail ordered. She located the box that said 'pizza' and sniffed inside. _Yup this is the one!_ She made a face. Slowly, she opened the box using her nose to push the lid open. The pizza was covered in waffles and anchovies, just like Cloudtail said.

It would take a long time to drag the pizza and the cupcakes, so she shoved the cupcakes in the box with the pizza and closed the lid. "Thank Starclan **I** don't have to eat that!" She dragged the heavy load towards the shore and pushed it in the lake. Then she backed up and skillfully, leaped onto the floating box. The box sank for a second under her weight, but it kept on floating.

For a while, Shadedleaf was puzzled on how to get the box, and herself, all the way to the Riverclan side of the lake. But she figured that if she kicked her the water, using her hind legs, they would arrive pretty quickly.

After a while, the ride across the lake on the pizza box was actually pretty relaxing. The birds were singing, the trout in the lake leaping, followed by a calming splash. Shadedleaf was at the Riverclan shore before she knew it. She quickly jumped off the pizza box and opened the lid to dig out the cupcakes. She left the pizza box floating in the lake, but she took out the pizza and layed it on the ground next to her. _Yuck!_ She nearly hurled at the putrid smell.

Shadedleaf was surprised that no patrols had noticed her for the last two times she had 'visited' Riverclan. _What luck!_ The golden and brown tabby tossed her thoughts away and focused on her plan. She randomly pulled out a catapult from a bush and loaded it with a cupcake. She was ready to fire it, but she had to wait for Leopardstar and Mothwing or Willowshine walked into the clearing. Just then Willowshine walked out of the leader's den with, no one other than, Leopardstar. Shadedleaf let the catapult fire away and quickly loaded a slice of pizza for her next firing.

The cupcake hit Willowshine sqaurly on the head. "What in the name of-" she started, but soon enough she realized that it was a cupcake. "L...Leopardstar the...the omen. It's coming true!" Riverclan cats slowly gathered in the clearing. Mothwing flew out of her den and stared in horror at the cupcake.

 _It's funny how one can be so scared of a cupcake._ Shadedleaf snickered and let a big piece of pizza fly into the air. She quickly kept continually loading the catapult with cupcakes and pizza slices until she ran out. As she let the last piece of pizza fly into the air, she got into a spot where she could see all the cats' reactions.

"Why is Starclan doing this?!"

"What omen was sent to you Mothwing. What will happen?"

"What in the name of Starclan?"

Perilous shrieks echoed through the whole forest and Leopardstar finally shushed her worried warriors. "Mothwing and Willowshine said that Starclan gave them an omen. That when pizza and cupcakes rained from the sky, our clan would come to an end!" The cats' eyes were filled with worry.

"What will happen to us!?" It was an elder who spoke up.

"We must leave," Willowshine mewed, suddenly courageous.

"If that is what we must do to avoid this terrible tragedy, then we will," Leopardstar agreed. Shadedleaf could barely contain her laughter. _They fell for it!_ She looked up to be greeted with dark storm clouds. All the cats seemed to noticed.

"We will leave at dawn," Leopardstar said, there was sorrow in her voice.

Shadedleaf quickly ran from Riverclan back to Thunderclan, she did't want to be caught. Especially not this close to when Riverclan was going to leave because of some fake omen she told them.

Over the patter of rain on the hard ground, she could hear the sighs of all the cats in Riverclan, all the way across the lake. As she neared the clearing, all that Shadedleaf knew was that she would have a lot of explaining to do once she entered the stone hollow. _Oh well!_


	7. Chapter 7

**sorry I haven't updated for a while...**

 **Chapter 7- The fake poop**

It was the sunrise after Shadedleaf had scared Riverclan away. She was pretty sure that no one knew about it though. The pale, milky sky slit through the gaps in the warriors den, reaching the dappled she-cat's eyes. Her green gaze flicked around the den, checking her surroundings. She got up and stretched, and she walked out into the clearing. _Perfect timing_ , she thought, as she saw Firestar leap onto the Highledge, farting.

"Let all cats old enough to fart... I mean catch their own prey, gather around the Highledge for a fart...clan meeting." Firestar's gaze swept challengingly over all of the cats in the clearing. He continued, "It has came to my attention that our farting patrols have not spotted any Riverclan cats since last night. I know that this doesn't concern us, but I still want you to keep a lookout." He paused. "Dismissed."

As Shadedleaf walked over to the fresh-kill pile, she got a marvelous idea. The dappled tabby's eyes lit up and she turned towards the rockpile leading up to Firestar's den. Before she headed up the pile of rocks, she sadly glanced behind her, and her mouth watered at the tempting scent of a warm chocolate chip cookie. She shook her head and nearly tripped over every stone on the rockpile.

Once she reached the den she peered through the lichen and meowed calmly and respectfully (believe me it was hard), "Firestar, may I talk to you?" After Shadedleaf heard a short reply she strode into the den. Her smooth, glossy fur didn't shine in the dark and quiet den. She sniffed, it smelled like old man and death.

The fiery orange tom cleared his throat, indicating her to speak.

"Firestar," Shadedleaf started smoothly, "Starclan has sent me a dream."

Firestar perked his ears, "Did they say that a new season of Bill Nye was coming out on Netflix?"

"Um, no."

"Starbucks delivers?"

"No, Firestar-"

"Wait, one more guess." Firestar thought. "Oh, did they say my daughters would get high on cupcakes and burn the camp down and Thunderclan would have to live in the Twoleg nest and then I would save us all by farting toxic gas to kill off all the other clans so we could have the whole lake to ourselves?"

Shadedleaf paused, clearly confused on what went through her leader's mind. "No," she started, "they told me that they have an important message for you and that you need to go to the moonpool tonight."

"Oh," he was devastated. But he lightened up as he said, "I wonder if they want to tell me were to find a lifetime supply of waffles." The great, old, smelly leader ran out of the den and told his deputy everything.

Shadedleaf was left alone in the airy den. "Geez, he must really want those waffles." That was all she could manage to say.

Later, the moon was barely peeking over the moor when Shadedleaf was on a border patrol. She sniffed the air because that's what cats do.

As the patrol was heading back into the clearing, Shadedleaf took a different route to Fred Meyer's. When she walked into the store she yelled, "WHAT'S ON YOUR LIST TODAY, YOU'LL FIND IT AT FREDDIE MEYERS!" After this 'incident', Shadedleaf was banned from the she got what she wanted.

The clearing was bathed in moonlight and the dappled tabby she-cat's pelt looked dull and dim. In the blue moonlight Shadedleaf crept to Firestar's den. She crept inside the empty den and quickly spotted the nest. It was made out of soft feathers, bracken, and some leaves and moss. She reached her nose down, sniffing it. The nest scented faintly of Firestar and lavender. _Jayfeather must have put some lavender juice on the leaves so that Firestar's nest wouldn't stink._

Shadedleaf peered outside and, reassured that no one could see her, opened the Fred Meyer's bag. It took a good ten minutes for the she-cat to open the plastic packaging of the fake poop. _Kitty Roca._ She smiled. The brown turd was slippery and Shadedleaf could hardly believed that it wasn't real. She carefully set it down on the side of Firestar's nest.

The next morning Shadedleaf blinked her eyes open super fast. She ran out of the den and to the fresh-kill pile. She skidded to a halt once she realized that she had bought a whole 20-pack of microwavable macaroni and cheese from her shopping spree last night. She slid back into the crevice near the elders den where she had hidden her bag. The she-cat peered in the bag and took out a pack of macaroni. She also took out the gallon container of Beaver tracks ice cream (which she hopped weren't real beaver tracks) and returned to her den.

As she entered the warrior's den she was relieved to find that no one except her was in there.

Paw steps sounded outside the gorse tunnel as Shadedleaf was finishing up her tub of ice cream. She belched really loud and stretched. She walked into the clearing to see Firestar returning to his den. _Perfect!_ She slyly walked to the fresh-kill pile and Shadedleaf could hear him mutter, "Starclan didn't have any special message for me." Shadedleaf sat down and started to wash herself, but she still kept Firestar in her peripheral vision.

A blood-curdling shriek sounded from his den, moments later. Cats desperately ran into the clearing to see what was the matter. Cloudtail's fur was fluffed up to twice its normal size, making him look super fat. Dovepaw's tail was sweeping the ground. Lionblaze's muscles rippled in the hope for battle.

Firestar's face was red as he leaped onto the highledge. His voice was shaky and high as he said, "Who pooped in _my_ den?!"

The clearing was silent for a moment but then it burst into laughter. Firestar's face turned even redder, which Shadedleaf thought wasn't possible. Then Firestar cleared his throat and repeated his question, this time with more annoyance and seriousness.

"WHO POOPED IN MY DEN!" The cats fell silent. He was serious. Brambleclaw stepped forward.

"Firestar, why would someone make dirt in your den?"

"I don't know, but someone did." The brown tabby followed Firestar into his den. A moment later the deputy was chuckling.

"Firestar...it's fake!" Brambleclaw barely laughed out. The clearing exploded with laughter and some cats farted because they were laughing so hard.

Shadedleaf returned to her den later that night. Firestar still hadn't come out of his den. The dappled brown and golden she-cat didn't expect that he would for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.


	8. Chapter 8

**this is a suggestion form Moonshine warriors**

* * *

 **Chapter 8-** **Windclan**

Pranking Riverclan was really fun, so Shadedleaf decided to prank Windclan next. And she knew exactly how she would do it.

The dappled golden and brown tabby was roaming around the lake. Her patrol was out hunting, so she ran to the stream that marked the border with Windclan. She tried to jump over the river, but she tripped and face-planted in the muddy bank.

"Fox-dung!" she exclaimed. She carefully took her face off the bank and dipped it in the flowing water to wash off the mud _. That water is really cold!_ She jumped back as soon as her face looked presentable.

She strolled into the Windclan camp. Crowfeather ran up to her.

"What are you doing here?" He paused, staring at her face, "Poop face."

"Um I have a message for Onestar. I need to tell him to stop being a jerkface."

Crowfeather's gaze darkened.

"Just kidding," Shadedleaf mewed.

Crowfeather lead her to Onestar's den and she walked in. His den was really small and a tiny nest lay in the back and she was sure that he didn't even sleep in it.

"A storm is coming!" Shadedleaf meowed and farted.

"Okay," Onestar started. But before he could say anything else, she ran all the way back to Thunderclan.

* * *

The silent moonlight crawled into the warriors den, tickling Shadedleaf's fur. She jumped up and ran past Berrybutt, who was on guard, asleep. She snorted as she passed him and headed for the Windclan border.

Once she crossed the border a little, she pulled out a fan out of now where. She turned it on and set it to the power 'Super fast and smelly'.

Shadedleaf grinned and meowed to herself, "That'll do."

After 5 minutes, (because cats do wear watches ya know) shrieks were heard from Windclan's camp.

Shadedleaf hastily put away the fan by throwing it into the river. She ran back to Thunderclan and fell fast asleep.

* * *

 **yas I know that wasn't very long but I'm kinda taking priority on my other story; Flooding Courage.**

 **also I just found out how to use the line tool XP (so helpful)**

 **bye 4 now**


	9. Chapter 9

**hello, so I am thinking about discontinuing this fanfic so im going to try to wrap it up in like 2 more chapters.**

 **if u _really_ want me to still continue this; leave a review**

* * *

 **Chapter 9- Randomness**

Shadedleaf could hear the birds chirping softly outside the warriors' den. She jumped up as a loud snore from Cloudtail frightened her. The dappled she-cat padded into the clearing.

Today she would do something...wet. _That's it I know what I'll do!_ She raced outside the clearing through the dirtplace tunnel and jumped onto the springy grass. She weaved through the trees and finally reached the lake. She took a drink of water and turned towards RiverClan.

RiverClan was still missing since she had sent them a fake omen. Shadedleaf raced around WindClan's side of the lake and stopped just outside RiverClan's scent marker. There was a rustle behind the bushes she had ducked behind. She peered over the top of the bush and saw tons of RiverClan cats.

Shadedleaf quickly jumped out from the bush. "Where have you guys been?"

The cats all stared at Shadedleaf. Then a gray she-cat stepped forward. She had a pair of Mickey Mouse ears on.

"We were at Disneyland; where did you think we were?!" Mistystar sassed.

"Yeah, and why are you here?" a brown tom wearing an Elsa dress mewed.

Shadedleaf eyed the tom with a confuzzled expression. "Well I was sent to see if you had returned," she thought quickly.

"Well this is enough proof, isn't it?!" Mistystar seriously spit in her face.

Shadedleaf nodded and gulped. She turned and ran back to the lake shore on her territory.

 _Now I can start my prank._

* * *

Once she had filled up 1000000000000000000000000000000000 buckets of water, she called Nyan cat.

Shadedleaf angrily dialed the number again into her hot pink iphone. Finally, someone answered.

"Hello," they said, bored out of their mind.

"Nyan cat, its me, Shadedleaf. I have a task for you." She whispered her plan into the phone.

"Okay, be right there!"

Shadedleaf hung up and put her phone in her purse (I don't know where that came from) and sat down.

Finally, a rainbow shot through the sky and Nyan cat landed next to the dappled she-cat.

After a hard day's work (Shadedleaf didn't do anything) Shadedleaf headed back to ThunderClan. She raced into the clearing. She was hyper after all the cupcakes Nyan cat gave her.

"DERP!" she yelled when she entered the clearing. Some cats who **were** asleep told her to shut up. "Sor-ee." She belched really loud just as Berrybutt came back from patrol.

"Wanna have a belching contest?" he challenged. The rest of the patrol sat by and watched them.

"Sure, you'll lose you know," Shadedleaf replied.

"I'm not so sure of that," Berrybutt said. He belched even louder than Shadedleaf.

It was her turn; she belched so loud that she blew a couple twigs off the warriors' den.

"Nice," he congratulated. Then he burped so loud that even a RiverClan cat could hear it.

Shadedleaf got ready and burped so loud that Berrybutt had to unsheathe his claws in attempt to not get blown away.

"Ha," she said, "you lose."

Firestar jumped out of his den and declared Shadedleaf the loudest belcher. Then he hollered, "who wants a taco?!"

Everyone raced to his den and everyone grabbed a taco.

"To Shadedleaf, the biggest burper ever," Jayfeather toasted. Shadedleaf blushed. She padded up to him and kissed Jayfeather. At first, he was disgusted, then he smiled and blushed too.

"Awwwwww," all the cats said.

Jayfeather broke into random song and sang, "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But here's my number, so call me maybe!"

After the taco party and flirting with Jayfeather, Shadedleaf called Nyan cat to pull off her prank.

* * *

In the morning everyone screamed. The clearing was full of water! Shadedleaf tried to act scared, but she couldn't help but smile at all the cats getting their paws wet.

Jayfeather ran over to her. "Sweetie, are you okay?" he mewed, concerned.

"C'mon we just met last night we-" Shadedleaf started as all the cats evacuated the camp.

"Will you marry me?" Jayfeather knealt on one knee and held out a small box. Shadedleaf blushed.

"Jay...Jayfeather of course!" She opened the box to find a beautiful amber ring with silver. "Awwww. But you know-"

"What?"

"This means that I'll have to get unengaged with Hawkfrost."

"Wait what!" Jayfeather's eyes lit up. Shadedleaf kissed him and together they ran off, splashing through the clearing.

Once everyone was safe, Firestar said, "Okay, so I think that we will need to leave ThunderClan."

Everyone started to cry.

"But, I have a solution to cheer you up. I have enough tickets for everyone to watch the Bill Nye marathon with me in New York."

Everyone cheered, tears forgotten.

"Everyone, our plane arrives in-" a plane runs Firestar over and everyone boards it. Except Jayfeather and Shadedleaf.

"What just happened?" the blind cat said.

"Um, well a plane killed Firestar," Shadedleaf said.

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"So where do you want to honeymoon?" Jayfeather asked and blushed. The plane took off, and Firestar lay on the ground, dead.

"Hawaii!" she nearly shouted.

"That's what I was thinking!" Jayfeather exclaimed and kissed his wife.

"But aren't we supposed to get married first; like isn't that the rules?" Shadedleaf mewed.

"Screw the rules," Jayfeather mewed.

 _I like this guy!_

"Here, just say 'I do'," Shadedleaf mewed.

"I do!"

"I do, too!"

"Okay, now I kiss you!" Jayfeather exclaimed happily. They French kissed because that's what French people do.

"Yay! We are married."

Then a car dropped out of the sky with the words on the back, 'Just Married'. Jayfeather got into the driver's seat and Shadedleaf got into the passenger's seat.

"Are you sure you know how to drive Jay Jay?" Shadedleaf asked.

"Um," Jayfeather started, "of course, Shady!"

With that they drove away from the lake and towards the sunset.

* * *

 **Yeah, so since im finishing this up, I thought that id include some romance stuff**

 **cul8er ;D**


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